When Other People's Anger Turns On You

How often do we find ourselves on the receiving end of outbursts of anger that seem to appear out of nowhere? The anger of a loved one, a colleague or a friend can strike us suddenly, even for seemingly insignificant reasons, making us feel confused and often hurt. This experience, if repeated, can negatively impact our well-being, leaving us with feelings of anxiety and frustration.

Often, people cannot manage their frustrations and end up taking out their anger on those around them, even if they are not the real recipient. It is a form of emotional projection , where the other person's unresolved feelings turn into accusations or harsh attitudes towards us. It could be a difficulty at work, a family problem or simply an accumulation of stress that results in anger, and we become the easiest and most accessible target .

When we receive this anger, it is natural to want to defend ourselves or take what is said to us personally. However, recognizing that the source of that anger is external to us can be essential to not absorbing it. Being able to separate what is ours from what belongs to others is the first step to maintaining our internal balance.

Discover the strategies that can help us not to suffer the negative effects of other people's anger and to remain calm.

Remember that you are not the problem .

- When someone takes out their anger on you, try to recognize that it is a reaction to their personal problems and not a real attack on you. This helps you to view the situation with detachment and not internalize the negative emotions.

- Learn to observe without reacting: in these moments, instead of reacting impulsively, try to observe the situation as if you were an external spectator. This allows you to remain calm and not get dragged into the spiral of anger.

- Thinking of the situation as something happening "outside" you is a useful exercise to stay centered and uninvolved.

If the person continues to act angry with you, it’s important to let them know that their behavior is hurting you. You can say something like, “I understand that you’re going through a difficult time, but this way of speaking makes me uncomfortable.” This way, you communicate your boundaries without fueling the conflict. Although it may seem difficult, responding with empathy to someone who is angry can disarm their anger. Phrases like, “It sounds like you’re going through something very stressful” can help create space for dialogue, making them feel heard without making you part of the problem.

Receiving unjustified anger can be emotionally draining.

Learn ways to protect your well-being and not let other people's emotions overwhelm you.

- Create a mental barrier by imagining that you have an invisible shield or barrier separating you from the negative emotion. This visualization exercise can help you avoid absorbing the other person's negative energy.

- After a difficult conversation, take a few minutes to recharge and release some of the pent-up energy. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or do something that relaxes you.

- Regenerating energy with incense and fumigations can be equally useful. Lighting herbs such as sage, palo santo is an ideal way to purify the energy of your space and restore a sense of serenity. These natural scents help to let go of negative emotions and find calm and centeredness.

After similar situations, observe the emotions you feel and ask yourself if there are signs that tell you to set clearer boundaries with certain people. Learning to recognize these feelings is essential to avoid taking on anger and frustration that are not yours.

Being able to emotionally detach yourself from other people's anger is a form of self-preservation . It doesn't mean ignoring other people's feelings, but knowing how to protect your own . Being empathetic and supportive doesn't mean having to accept behaviors that hurt us. Remember that your peace of mind is just as important as your desire to be helpful.

Learning not to take other people's anger personally is a valuable skill that requires practice and awareness. Setting healthy boundaries, observing situations with detachment, and staying centered allows us to approach these dynamics with balance, protecting our emotional well-being. Listening and supporting others is a valuable gesture , but it is essential not to allow the weight of their emotions to become a burden for us too.